On top of all the blues and overwhelmingly sad and empty feelings, one of the great struggles of depression can come when you can’t even identify its origin. Have you ever felt that way? “I’m sad, and I don’t even know why.” Or perhaps you recognize that much of life is going well, but you have no idea why you have a perpetual empty feeling within.
Even when we can’t put our finger on it, the seasons of depression don’t come suddenly, but arise through steady patterns over time. Among many other weighty truths, Jesus makes a powerful and piercing statement during His sermon on the mount: For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also (Matthew 6:21).
We do well to ask ourselves: where is my treasure? What am I treasuring? That is, what hopes, standards, expectations, desires, etc., have I placed my value on, view the world through those values, and measure life by those values?
It may be subtle. Personally, I struggle with two competing values, neither of them attainable: perfectionism, and countless ambitions. I don’t like when I don’t do things well, and I cannot keep up with my to-do list of good things that I aspire after. I am always wanting to do more, better. But the reality is, I will never do things “perfect,” and, I just simply cannot do everything. Those truths are compounded by the reality that, you either do a few things well, or you do a lot of things mediocre. I drive myself crazy!
How about you? What values do you cling dear to, even subtly: standards for yourself or others, expectations for how things must be, desires for what you must have? All too often, these values are less conscious, but we can recognize and identify them when we explore our responses: why am I so upset right now? Why did I say or do that? When we examine ourselves to pinpoint our motivations, we may be able to discern some of the hidden values by which we interpret life and function practically.
Our “treasures” may be contributing heavily as the unknown causes of our anxiety or depression. Recognizing this frees us to now take strides to undoing and renewing our values system. Many of those values may even be good things; yet, we should not measure ourselves by them or allow them to control us. We need to surrender these treasures to the Lord, treasuring Him first and foremost. Let us measure ourselves by what God has to say about us in the Word, finding our identity in Christ, and let us obediently submit ourselves to His Lordship in our lives.
The pain and emotions we feel when we pattern ourselves after other treasures is the grace of God in our lives allowing us to recognize the need for change. Let us love and worship God, and find the satisfaction that He gives! As Psalm 16:11 reminds us: You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.